The Smirking Cynic 2.0

Hey all.

I know I haven’t updated the blog in a while and for that I do apologize. There’s a couple of factors. One, there is an issue with my site and new versions of WordPress. For whatever reason if I upgrade to anything above version 2.8.6 it screws up my admin control panel. Two, I’ve been actively trying to avoid political news because, quite frankly, I’m tired of making myself depressed. Three, I’ve become more active in updating social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter. Four, I have the world’s worst case of writer’s block.

All of these have led me to wonder if I should scrap what I have right now and start over new with a full fresh installation of WordPress (or others if anyone wants to suggest one) and a whole new look and feel to the site. Maybe if I do that I’ll feel better about posting and my writer’s block will just go away.

Anyway, if you see any massive changes to the site, don’t panic. I have ever intention of keeping this site going because I do love having it. I’ll keep you posted as things progress.

Sarah Palin appeared on Fox News and alleged that the reason that this disaster in the Gulf has been so bad is because the Obama Administration is in bed with big oil.

Take a moment and compose yourself. I hope you didn’t spit coffee on anything that can’t take it.

The Palin/Beck Doctrine: Say something batshit crazy. I mean totally fucking loony. Repeat this lie as loudly and as often as you can. When questioned, blame the non-Fox media for taking it out of context and hide behind the populist rage. Repeat and collect speaking fees from anyone stupid enough to believe you.

As I look upon the horrific photos that are coming from the disaster in the Gulf of Mexico, I’m haunted by three little words that I heard a great deal during the 2008 election.

Drill Baby Drill.

Can we please start finding an alternate source of renewable energy please? Or do we have to wait until oil is $130 a barrel again and people are paying $6 a gallon? I’ll never understand why the environment we live in ranks a few dozen tiers lower than our wallets.

I laugh at Orly Taitz and her cadre of misbegotten fools because I find it both fascinating that human beings could so willfully delude themselves and funny as hell at the same time. It’s like some new cult made up exclusively of idiotic lemmings. And like all cult leaders, Taitz is more than willing to show them where the end of the cliff is, but seems troubled by the idea of actually going over the edge with them. But as the galactic case Taitz v. Reality rages on, it’s worth taking a moment to reflect exactly what is going on.

Hawaii has an admittedly obscure law that states official documents such as birth certificates are to be kept by the state. It’s somewhat of a strange law, but they provide the legal equivalent to any natural citizen which qualifies for any real purpose anyone who was born there should require; driver’s license, marriage license, etc. It’s called a “Proof of Live Birth” certificate.

Now it wasn’t until Taitz realized a black man was being elected to be the President of the United States that this law was even known about outside Hawaii. But since she got the attention of the media, more and more of Obama’s political opponents — all of them right-wing fringers — have taken to the stance of non-accusal accusations that Obama was actually born in Kenya. If that were true, Obama isn’t qualified to be POTUS because of the Constitutional requirement that they must be a natural-born US citizen.

And I am continually amazed by how little evidence it has taken to convince her little lemmings that he wasn’t born in Hawaii, and yet demand unequivocal evidence that he was. They’ve been presented with the Proof of Live Birth, they’ve been presented with archived copies of Barack’s birth announcement in the two newspapers of note, every state official in Hawaii has stepped up and said it is so. None of that is good enough.

Taitz has tried and failed on two separate occasions to bring suit against the federal government by representing soldiers who initially argued that they would not follow orders given by what they perceived was an illegal president. Threats of court martial and dishonorable discharges, and these people changed their tunes like a kid flipping through an iPod. Taitz herself earned the ire of a District Judge for continually bringing frivolous law suits and wasting the court’s time, and he slapped her with a $20,000 fine. She’s still fighting it.

But now a US Army Doctor, Lt. Col. Terrence Lakin, has taken that final step off the edge of the cliff.

Formal court martial charges have been brought against Lt. Col. Terrence Lakin, the Army doctor who believes President Obama may not be a natural born citizen, for failing to follow orders, the military said today.

Lakin was charged Thursday “with one specification of a violation of Article 87, Missing Movement and four specifications of a violation of Article 92 (three specifications of Failure to Obey a Lawful Order, and one Specification of Dereliction of Duty),” said Chuck Dasey, spokesman at Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington, where Lakin is assigned.

The court martial is likely to raise the prominence of what is already a cause célèbre among Birther adherents.

Okay, this has now reached the level of insanity that I would normally reserve for the criminally stupid — rapists and serial killers. Dear Birthers, and most especially Lt. Col. Lakin: You’re fucking insane. Go seek mental help because there is no proof on this earth that will convince you of the fact that Barack Obama is a natural born United States citizen. It’s a fact. You cannot escape it because you’re a fucking lunatic. You are severely deluding yourself at this point to where no one will ever take you seriously about anything.

A typical example, set sometime in the not-too distant future:

“Terry said it’s not a good idea.”

“Yeah, well Terry didn’t believe that Obama was born in the US.”

“Oh, right…he’s a fucking idiot.”

Water is wet…sun is bright…Barack Obama was born in Hawaii. Step away from the cliff and grow some goddamned common sense already.

If there is no better reminder of what you were like during your youth, it’s your kids. As much as my wife would vocally disagree with me (and her parents would nod is silent agreement), genetically speaking there’s no finer example of your adolescent actions than that of your progeny.

And this is what I remind myself every time over the past few years that I’ve been reduced to screaming at walls over the seeming reckless abandon that my 14 year-old daughter takes towards her homework for school. It is almost magical the extents that she will go to avoid actually doing her work. And I have no doubt that my daughter is an exceptionally gifted and creative person because the highly-detailed excuses and patent lies that she comes up with that are meant to justify why her work wasn’t done are testament to her genius-level abilities. And I know for a fact that my mother, upon either reading this or listening to any number of my rants about this particular subject, is loving every minute of this. Because I did the exact same thing to her.

And therein lies the dilemma. I’m going to be 36 this June and I think I’ve got most of this responsibility crap figured out pretty well. When I was 14, I was blissfully and willfully ignorant of the nasty outside world and all it pitfalls. I remember clearly my mother speaking to me in exasperated tones of how I can have such creative abilities and not utilize them properly in my school studies. I wish I could shake the crap out of that kid because i can’t do it to my daughter.

Bill Cosby once famously spoke of the “brain damage” curse that parents put on their children, which has been passed on throughout the ages. In short: “I hope that when you have children they treat you exactly how you’ve treated me.” With all due respect to Dr. Cosby, there is no crime punishable by this level of madness. As much as my daughter is an endless supply of frustration and bewilderment to me (especially around report card season) it still cannot be allowed to be passed on to the next generation just a generational karmic corporal punishment. Christ, I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.

Maybe if I make this promise my kid will grow a healthy level of common sense and all will be right with the world?

Yeah, I know…keep dreaming…

If anyone needs me, I’ll be hiding in the basement.