A friend of mine invited me over this weekend for beer and socializing. Since I’ve been sick for a fucking week now (but finally getting over it) I replied that I’d better stay home. In fact it looked like my son was getting this crap so I’d no doubt have to contend with that all weekend.

The response was, by far, the most legendary out-of-office automated replies I’ve ever received. So I decided to share it with you because I peed myself laughing. Without further ado…

Well well well, what do you know, it’s the start of a long weekend and I’m not in the office – don’t act so surprised. In fact, I’m surprised you are trying to get in touch with me and aren’t in a windowless bar enjoying buffalo wings and a beer (not that fizzy yellow crap, mind you!).

At any rate, I’m not in the office and I will not be checking emails. You see, I’ll be in a windowless bar eating Buffalo Wings and swilling down a beer. Or maybe I’ll be on my patio grilling up some Beer Can Chicken, enjoying the fact that I won’t be replying to your email.

It’s not much of a consolation, but if you need immediate assistance, please contact my supervisor, Kim @ ; she may or may not be able to help you. At the very least she’ll listen to you complain about how I’m not in the office on the Friday of a long weekend.

Now – get outside and enjoy the weekend!!!*

Thanks!!!!!
Justin

(*unless it’s storming out and there are tornadoes coming, then get in the basement. If you don’t have a basement, like my wife and I, then you should do what we do – stand in the window and keep an eye out for that tornado cause you’re gonna wanna see it before it swallows you up into Oz!!!!)

Have a great Memorial Day weekend folks.