Posts Tagged ‘Fox & Friends’

Could someone should check the thermometer in Hell? I think the recent cold snap must have hit more than just the bulk of the United States. The reason I ask is because I never thought I’d live to see the day that so many white, rich Republicans would be so offended by racial statements made against a black man. It’s really gotta be freezing in Satan’s back yard if Harry Reid’s off-the-record comments are more offensive than “Obama As Witchdoctor“. At least I don’t remember Cornyn doing press interviews about that. Of course Cornyn is desperately trying to make his party relevant again, so he’ll say anything, hypocritical or just plain stupid as it may be.

I think my good friend from Sweden would be fascinated to hear that he is of pure blood. At least that’s the observation of one Bian Kilmeade of Fox & Friends this morning. And believe it or not it’s not the most idiotic thing he said this morning in what I can only assume was complete objectivity and not some stupid attempt at humor. I swear, every time this man go off the talking points, we get a clearer picture of what actually rattles around in that brainpan of his. And folks, it ain’t pretty.

KILMEADE: Because that’s a — we are — we’re — we’re a — we’re — we keep marrying other species and other ethnics and other –

CARLSON: Are you sure they’re not suffering from some of the –

KILMEADE: I mean, the Swedes –

CARLSON: — causes of dementia right now?

BRIGGS: What are you getting at?

KILMEADE: See, the problem is, the Swedes have pure genes.

BRIGGS: OK.

KILMEADE: Because they marry other Swedes. Because that’s the rule. Finland — Finns marry other Finns, so they have a pure society. In America, we marry everybody.

Honest to god, why didn’t the producer cut to a “Technical Difficulties” message and step on the the sound stage to hit that imbecile with a ball-peen hammer? “Other species”??? Is this sonuvabitch out of his fucking mind?

I know…stupid question…

When a new media figure takes the scene, there is always a period of time where he or she has to win over the audience that a particular outlet is presenting them. For example, Craig Ferguson has definitely carved out a niche for himself in the late night shows and it seems that with the time given to him, his personality is much more relaxed than it was during those first few months when he seemed awkward an unable to get comfortable with his audience. One need look no further than Jimmy Fallon’s new late night show to see what I could be alluding to. (For the record: I don’t think he’s funny but wish him well in a very crowded market that, quite frankly, doesn’t really need him — but I do sincerely wish him the best.)

When I first heard Glenn Beck speak it was near the debut of his show on Headline News in May 2006 and he said something to the effect that he was “not a Democrat or a Republican, but the voice of the everyman”. I recognized that immediately as an O’Reilly-esque comment and concluded, rather correctly, that his program was dedicated to conservatism that didn’t call itself conservatism. In other words, Headline News was trying to find their own O’Reilly to maybe snatch some of his rating away. And over time his politics became more and more clear to me as I found out he was everything that the GOP was touting as core American principles: Deny global warming exists, fight numerous strawmen over the Second Amendment, Pro-Lifer, Pro-Iraq War cheerleader, etc.

Rather than allow this little bird to pick at their dominance of all conservative media, Fox News signed Glenn Beck to their own network and Headline News immediately scrapped his show on their network, which suggests, to me at least, that he screwed them. Regardless, his new Glenn Beck program was added to Fox News’ echo chamber of conservatism and off he went to collect the meager audience he had won in all of five months with Headline News. And it was about then that he seemed to finally get comfortable with that audience.

Now I was familiar with his occasional comments on his radio show and they never really reached escape velocity of the average conservative bullshit so I never really gave him all that much attention. That’s when the weird was loosed upon the world.

Colbert first brought it to my attention and he’s been keeping up with the latest and greatest moments of Beck ever since. It started with Beck’s goofy split screen program where one side of the screen was the normal talking head, and the other was a closeup of his eyes. He did this without apparent explanation. When his viewers asked why, as if they could avoid doing so, he answered more or less that “no one looks in anyone’s eyes anymore” and that it was his way of proving that he was telling the truth. If you’re wondering what that sound is, it was your bullshit meter exploding. Happened to me too.

Beck was seen a while later on Fox & Friends with Doochey and the Two Morons and let fly his wild conspiracy nut persona on an already brain-softened viewership. (No other explanation can be offered why anyone would watch that show seriously.) During his delivery he looked very much like a Bond Villain, calming explaining what would happen if “double-oh-forty-four” was allowed to continue to be president.

Colbert then put together another segment based upon a new feature of Beck’s program where he invites ideologues to his show and proceeds to craft doomsday scenarios out of thin air and asks his guests to validate their chances of actually happening and what, oh dear god please tell us, what shall the US do about it?

Now I know it sounds like I’m making this up, but I’m not. I’m actually convinced that Glenn Beck is just another nutjob who used to call in to Art Bell’s Coast to Coast program under an assumed name. I don’t think he could easily be discounted as the true identity of John Titor. I simply cannot understand how anyone can take him seriously, let alone give him a network news slot under the auspices of having a valid point to make.

But that’s Fox News for you — never afraid to go the distance with the nuttiest of the squirrel shit.

A fascinating act has been taking place before our very eyes and I think it deserves recognition. Perhaps a special Oscar category could be made. There is simply no more fitting way to describe what the conservatives in congress and in the media are doing. Take this for example, courtesy of Media Matters:

Now to the untrained eye, which is roughly 95% of the Fox & Friends viewership, it may look like Laura Ingram, Steve Doochey and Brian Kilmeade have an actual point. In short, Democrats are overstating the dangers of this economy so that any turn in the other direction can be sighted as progress. And apparently creating only 2 million jobs would be total and utter failure in Doochey’s assessment, hence his permanent name change on this site.

But to folks who’ve been watching both sides of their mouths for the last decade or so, something more interesting and truly funny is starting to show: They know this stimulus is going to work and they’re preemptively trying to call it a miserable failure even if it does succeed on some minor level. Watch that segment again and tell me it’s not fall-on-the-floor hilarious. They fear any measurable success in the stimulus package. Why? Because they disowned it. Any success is yet another disgrace to their failed economic vision. And any failure will be amplified by their right-wing echo chamber.

The funniest example of a right-winger totally owning up to the fact that this bill will have a measure of success is none other than Karl Rove himself (hat tip to Raw Story).

I also find it humorous that they call it using “fear tactics” and “doom and gloom” on the American people. They should be experts on this subject because it’s all they’ve resorted to when it came to terrorism and it’s how we ended up in Iraq in the first place. And since we’re drawing parallels to the Iraq War, I think there was a bit of spending involved in that one. The last I checked there was.

In fact, if I recall correctly, the previous administration managed to give out no-bid contracts to the companies they used to work for and, at the same time, manage to literally lose billions of those dollars into thin air. Boy I wish that billions of dollars could somehow go missing in our own country.

The fact is that Republicans have lost a considerable amount of face over the past years because of disastrous decisions and horrible management. The result is that the last two elections have seen Republicans being shown the door for being such awful stewards of our government. So now they’ve returned to the stone-throwing partisanship and hoping for another chance to fool the electorate into another “Contract With America” that they can screw us with.

Honestly, I don’t think Americans have too much difficulty in seeing these statements for what they really are: The last cries of a dying ideology that brought about the greatest economic disaster since The Great Depression. I expect they’d be bitter for owning that dubious reputation once more since their party was responsible for that one, too. But what they need to accept is their ideas have failed, the American people voted for change and that’s exactly what’s happening.

PS: Can someone tell Lindsey Graham to stop using a smarmy rendition of “that’s not a change we can believe in” as if the campaign is still on? Fuck, he’s an embarrassment.

After Obama won the election, there was a brief moment I thought, naively of course, that I wouldn’t have much to write about as it pertains to politics. Silly me, I’ve forgotten that Fox News, for reasons I’ll never understand, is still relevant to a good portion of people out there. And nothing encapsulates their shameless conservatism than their morning show, Fox & Friends. The normal trifecta of conservative blowhards is former Miss Minnesota, Gretchen Carlson, Brian Kilmeade and, my personal favorite, Steve Doocy. This morning Carlson was replaced by someone equally qualified to be a brainless QVC product model by the name of Alisyn Camerota.

This morning they presented me with a perfect example of the right-wing bent that their station has yet to publicly recognize. They did a spot about an ad campaign that is being launched in the DC area by the American Humanist Association that I think is fairly straightforward.

“Humanists have always understood that you don’t need a god to be good,” said Roy Speckhardt, executive director of the American Humanist Association. “So that’s the point we’re making with this advertising campaign. Morality doesn’t come from religion. It’s a set of values embraced by individuals and society based on empathy, fairness, and experience.”

*snip*

“We expect these bus signs to generate a lot of public interest,” said Fred Edwords, director of communications for the American Humanist Association. “Some folks may be offended but that isn’t our purpose. We just want to reach those open to this message but unaware how widespread their views are.

The “goodness’ sake” ads and posters direct people to a special Web site at http://www.whybelieveinagod.org/ that helps people find others of like mind in the Washington, D.C., metro area and nationally. The site also informs the public about humanism and answers common objections to the slogan as well as to the appropriateness of running the campaign during the holidays.

Of course to the trio of brainwashed nincompoops any question of the existence of a god is a direct affront to their precious Almighty. And, more importantly, by association it’s an affront to anyone who believes in a god. Raw Replay has the video spot.

Now I should make it very clear: I think Steve Doochey’s sardonic smile should be removed by some random bird of prey. I think that Kilmeade’s laughter at the thought of people being alone over the holiday season should be punishable by repeated kicks to the nads. I think Camerota’s faux persiveness to give the appearance that she actually gives half a shit about other people should be met with her having to actually get a decent education somewhere. But rather than wish horrible things upon these people, an activity that is best with with friends and a pack of Oreos, I’ve decided that perhaps we should take a look at their precious holiday in detail. Because since their unable to recognize an ad campaign that is targeted specifically at non-believers and not believers, let’s see if they’re able to recognize the pure insanity that makes up the Christmas season they’re so quick to defend. More below the fold.
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